No need to be sensitive here.  We're all adults.  And, even if you're not an adult and reading this, you won't find anything juicy here, so might as well find somewhere elso to get your excitmenent, this is going to be a conversation for people who really want to learn something and who really want to get the gloom and doom out of the bedroom.

First, let's get the first and icky stuff out of the way:  EVERYONE HAS HAD THE SLUMP.  IT'S NOT JUST YOU. 

Feel better?  Good.

Now that you've been huddled int he warmth of everyone else on the planet who has felt like they could use a little spark inbetween the sheets, let's get to the second issue:

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER READ IN COSMO.  IT'S NOT TRUE.

Ok, that might not be exactly the case, but realisticlly, most of us are just not that cool, not that young or not that energetic to pull off those titanic feats or to have actually been those kinds of people.  So, if you read Playboy / Girl, Cosmo or any of those other magazines, forget it. . .stuff like that doesn't really happen unless you ARE a porn star.

So, let's now get down to how you CAN improve your love life with the person who you've probably been having sex with for a long, long time and with whom you love deeply but want to re-energize that little spark that got you really gushy in the first place.  Does that sound famiiliar?

1.  The difference between boys and girls.

• Girls:  if you are reading this I want you to know that he is turned on by how you look.  Even if YOU think you look gross, put on a hot little nightie, turn off his tv, step RIGHT in front of him and plant yourself right in his lap.  He won't see all the flaws on you NOW.  He will remember you exaclty the way he remembers you every time you kiss him the way you kissed him the FIRST time you kissed him that way.
• Guys:  if you are reading this:  Girls are turned on by emotion and stimulation.  Sound forgien?  Well, even after how many ever years you have been together, it never hurts to keep practicing the "I love yous" and the "do you know how you make me feels". . .and NO, NOT the "do you know how you make me feel down there". . .although that does have it's place. . .just a little later. . .*ahem*
• BOTH:  when you are getting ready for the BIG NIGHT OF ROMANCE: girls concentrate on what will stimulate him visually, guys concentrate what will stimulate her emotionally.

2.  Changing it up.

• If you had a cheese sandwich for lunch every day for the last 10 years, one day, you might get a little tired of cheese sandwiches.  You wouldn't hate them necesarrily, especially if it is your favorite kind of sandwich. . .but what if you just changed the type of cheese in the sandwich?  The same kind of thing applies to sex.  If you've gotten a little stale, change it up.
• Chage the location.  Tell your partner that sex in the bedroom is OFF LIMITS for the next month.  See what happens.  First, you'll not be able to stop THINKING about having sex, because it's now OFF LIMITS in the only place you've gotten used to it.  You'll find yourselves naturally having it more often because you're thinking about it.
• Change The Education:  When was the last time you learned a new WAY to do something in the bedroom?  A new position?  Bought a new toy *gasp* or a new outfit?  How about a new set of satin sheets for the bed?  Just a subtle change like massage oil and asking him to give you a massage could kick up the passion a notch and switch up the entire passion level to a different degree.

3.  Talking It Out

• If ONE of you has a problem. . .BOTH of you have a problem.  Sex isn't a singular issue. . . and if you can't have an honest bedroom discussion, then THAT is your sexual problem.  Oh, but there is a hot button topic right there.  Start small and if you can't face your partner, start by lying your head in their lap and just putting the topic out there.  Here are some helpful things to remember when having an intimite discussion:
  • If the problem is something you wish them to change, never use accusitory language.  Use feeling words like "Every time we do this, I feel. . . "
  • Always ask for solutions and present things in the we context because you are a team
  • Be open and honest because you expect honesty in return
• Laughter and fun in the bedroom is a key element in any relationship.  If you're not having fun, find a fun intimate board game online or make one up.  Something simple could be tearing off sheets of paper and writing down things you would love to do to each other.  Then getting to pick one at a time and carrying them out. 

4.  Is there REALLY a problem?

• After all these things, you might be suprise how many people actually have changes in body chemistry during their lives brought on by natural causes or by changes in medications.  If you still can't get that spark back, a quick trip to the doctor to see if any of the medications you are taking might be keeping you from feeling those feelings isn't a bad idea.
• Keep the stress down.  That's a big factor in how you feel.  Take a few minutes to unwind before you're expected to UNWIND. 
• Know when to say NO.  If you know it isn't going to be a good time for you, never be afraid to say, "sweetheart, I love you, but tonight, I need to just hold you.  Can I have a rain check for tomorrow?"  A loving, understanding partner, who has gone back and forth through these steps with you, will always understand.